My mom had one simple rule when it came to setting limits and teaching my sis and I to be disciplined : that a tight slap right across the face (every now and then) is good for teaching us to behave ourselves…… If you believe in inflicting physical or emotional pain on your children in the name of teaching them about discipline, then you would probably feel the same way my mom does………a combination of frustration……..followed by anger……..followed by guilt.
When guilt hits, that’s when we start to question if what we’re doing is right and that’s also when we start to show affection to our children so that we can ‘make up’ for inflicting pain upon them.
Now, I’m not saying that my mom’s approach is wrong……….I’m just saying that her approach is based on how she ’saw’ and ‘understood’ the situation…..which, in this case, is based on an adult’s conventional wisdom.
Unfortunately, this approach did very little to teach my sis and I about discipline……..and to make matters worse, we started getting very anxious and frustrated and we spent our whole childhood fighting like cats and dogs. I remember pulling out fistfuls of hair from my sisters head while she tried to scratch my eyeballs out of their sockets.
But here’s the thing……..what if I told you that there is a more effective way to setting limits and teaching children about discipline?…….What if all we needed to do is to learn to approach this topic by applying child developmental psychology to understand how children can learn about limits and to be self-disciplined in the most natural ……and not to mention, ……..effortless way?
Well, to find out how it works, may I present to you, video #2……
I know this may require a change in the way we understand children……or a change in mindset…….and you might need to watch this video a few more times so that you can properly internalize the concepts discussed. It took me many years to properly learn and understand child developmental psychology and more than a decade and a half of applying it to properly understand how it works………so don’t beat yourself up if you need a little more time to digest the issues I’ve raised in this video.
My mom had limited access to parent education in her day and this was the lens she used because it’s what she learnt from her mom….And that inspired me to dedicate the rest of my life in search of a different approach to parenting……And I’m super proud to say that I’VE FOUND IT!……..Applied Child Developmental Psychology!…….and I’m perfecting it everyday 😉
As promised, I’ve got a nice poster
designed for you to help you keep some important pointers in mind when setting up a structured environment for your children. Feel free to print it out and put it up on your fridge so that you can keep these things in mind.
If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me either via email or in the comments section below.
In the meantime, let me know what you found to be interesting about this video. Also, take a minute to reflect on your own parenting approach and ask yourself which lens are you using to ‘see’ or understand your children…….and if you’d like to do it differently. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below and I’ll read each and everyone of them 🙂