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Are you child-focused or child-centred?

If you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering if there’s even a difference … and there is … a huge one in fact!   Child-focused parenting is when the parents do everything they want (for themselves), for their children. It may sound like the child is at the center of it but actually, they’re not. The parents are making parenting decisions for their children based on what THEY WANT for their children.   Child-centered parenting is when parents do everything that THE CHILD NEEDS based on THE CHILDREN’S unique needs. These parents put a lot of effort into finding out what is best for their …

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The Guilt Of Being A Parent Coach

I get lots of messages and pm’s from parents who are looking for help……but this one really got me thinking. I’m sharing this here so that we can start a discussion about the importance of parenting right. … Hey Queenie, I need some parenting advice. But firstly, I need to let you know that you are a huge advocate for worldschooling or homeschooling and that I can’t do that. (Hihi, you are right, I am a big fan of worldschooling and why my boys and I are bending over backward to make that a reality. However, I don't expect others to do what …

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A Tale of a Father who Saved his Boys from a Fierce Snake

“I remember when I was young, we used to spend a lot of time outdoors. We lived in special living quarters that were built for hospital employees, and since my one of my parents worked with the hospital, we got to stay there…it wasn’t much, but it was free housing, so we put up with the small house by spending a lot of time outdoors, which was super fun for us. There were no fences, clusters of houses, and we had lots of space with bushes, shrubs and green spaces to do gardening…which we absolutely loved.   One day, my brother and …

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I did not mean to lie to my boys but I did

I never meant to lie to my boys, but I did.   The day I became a mom was the most magical day of my life, and I immediately fell in love with my boys the minute I laid eyes on them. This may be different for different moms but, for me, it was pure and simple love at first sight. I remember being so overwhelmed with love that my heart couldn’t take it, and I knew that my life would never be the same again, because now I truly had something to live for.   As soon as my boys arrived into the …

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It’s a scary world out there, advocate for your children as they fight through it!

My child was traumatized by her swimming coach after a small incident, and she was so hesitant to go to the next class even when I tried talking to her about it, she seemed unwilling to bend her determination to miss the next class. Yet, when I ‘pushed’ her a little, she didn’t seem to object as much as I thought she would…..so I sent her to her swimming class…….she looked at me as we were getting ready to leave the house with those ‘mom, please save me, don’t make me do this’ eyes. I shook it off and told …

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Why this Father’s Day creates such conflict for me……

Last Sunday was Father’s Day. I opened up my Facebook newsfeed to find countless messages from my Facebook ‘friends’ to their fathers…..and those of wives to their husbands for being such amazing fathers.   I wish I could feel like they do…….in fact, I think I did once……but definitely not anymore.   Let me explain……my father wasn’t really there for me. I remember my mom being the one who was trying to keep everything together at home. When my dad did decide to make an appearance in my life, disaster, trauma and anxiety came with him. So, when he died a few years ago, …

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A conversation I had with my 11 year old about suicide.

Me: Does the name Kate Spade ring a bell to you? Son: Yes, it sounds familiar. Me: It’s the name of the shop outside our house, the one that sells all the quirky handbags. Son: Oh yeah, I remember it now. Me: Well, it’s named after the lady who founded it, and designs the bags that are sold in the shop. Son: Oh, okay. Me: Apparently she just died. Son: What? How? Me: She killed herself. Son: What? Why would she do that? Me: Lots of people do that. Son: But, why didn’t she want to live anymore? Me: I’m not exactly sure. I think she was depressed. Son: What’s depressed? Me: It’s a …

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I got married last month! Are my boys thinking about getting married too?

Some of you might be aware that, in autumn 2016, we packed up and left the life that we knew behind. We made the drastic decision to give up everything we had, have the boys leave their school, move out of Hong Kong (the only home that my boys have ever known), and to start a new life as digital nomads, worldschoolers and, for me, a single parent.   For those of you who have been following our journey on social media or via my emails, you will already be aware of our crazy journey to discover the world, to transition into …

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